how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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