I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize