The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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