he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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