I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
