Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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