I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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