remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize