i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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