For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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