Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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