Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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