I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
