he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
