break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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