He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
