Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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