Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
