I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Congratulations! We have a period
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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