dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
