Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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