I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
