i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
