Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
