HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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