That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
no, he came in my armpit
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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