Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
People in love make me want to vomit
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
