She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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