question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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