But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
