Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
