how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
