your room smells of hookers.
And success
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
