Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
