What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
