Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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