check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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