ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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