help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
