Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
