So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
