Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
