i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
