People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Life is so much better after having sex.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
