Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
