We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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