She's JV to your varsity
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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