I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
