so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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