WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
