If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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