I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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