We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
