you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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