Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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