Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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