Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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