ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize