Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I love you. Go after that dick
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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