so explain again why im purple
no
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
