We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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