I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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