There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
