Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
