Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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