Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
