we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
