Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
