Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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