Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
