I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
