The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
