I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
