She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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