May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
