he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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